Am I the only person who watches medical and crime dramas and tries to store information for "just in case" scenarios? I cannot remember when I started to do it, but I feel as if every time I watch one my first thought is 1) Is this accurate information? and 2)I should remember this, God forbid MY bus crashes into a hazmat truck and someone has a severed leg plus is diabetic and maybe also anemic, while having a baby. And I don't even ride the bus! On the set of Royal Pains, there is an actual real live doctor to make sure procedures look realistic and that terminology makes sense in all the surgical/medical situations. Dr. Irv always smiles at me like a parent smiles at a five year old. Mostly because he knows I'm about to launch into another round of incessant questions about different medical procedures. For Day 16, I decided instead of asking him another long list of hypochondriacal (yes that's a word dammit!) questions, I would have him show me how to perform certain procedures. First he gave me all the basics of what to do if you find yourself assisting in the delivery of a baby, which was fairly simple. Unless the baby is coming out ass first. In which case, I probably can't do anything. Second, he showed me how to do a jaw lift, which is something that helps clear the airway if a person is unconscious and their tongue has blocked it. That also seemed pretty simple, so if anyone is unconscious and not breathing, let me know! I will save you! Lastly, he showed me how to correct a dislocated finger, which is still making me cringe as I think about it.
On my way home from work, the only place open to pick up something to eat was a 24 hour supermarket, so I grabbed my two items and went to the express lane where I found an elderly gentleman talking to the middle-aged cashier and caught the tail end of him saying "...just very uncomfortable...." The cashier nodding her head sympathetically and him shaking his head and rubbing his arm as if in pain. Armed with my new knowledge I barged right into the conversation and asked him if he had dislocated his arm or something because I had just learned how to take care of that if he needed some advice. He looked at me blankly for a second and then said, "Yeah I've dislocated my bladder. I'm incontinent." I then made a mental note to not impart medical advice in public places as well as ask Dr. Irv next week about how to resolve a dislocated bladder.
Day 17 on the way........ ;-)
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